So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
