I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
