We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
