i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
