he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize