Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Randomize
