Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize