I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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