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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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