Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
