ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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