the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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