she was so not down for the gang bang
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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