just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
