Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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