It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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