what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
