I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize