covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
he told me I talked like a deaf person
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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