I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
