Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
