woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
