I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
