I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
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