sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Randomize