yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
