Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
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