Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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