Grow some girl-balls and come out already
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
