i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize
