i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
