There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
