and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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