Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
