well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
