ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
