can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
