Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Randomize
