Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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