FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
