i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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