And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize