The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
he wants to bone in the snuggie
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
