Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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