Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
50% drunk capacity currently
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
