did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
