So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
