He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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