we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
