Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Randomize