Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
