I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize