Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
YAS. BRING CRAB.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Randomize
