Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
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