yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Randomize
