A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
