Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
even my farts smell like vagina
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
