SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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