I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
