Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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