she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
