Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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