whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
