margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Randomize