champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
