Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize