Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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