I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
i will never coherently bang her
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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