you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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