I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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