What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
