the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
