OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
