Im at strip club and am horny
doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
