Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
