I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
